Jet lag.

It seems I've become an expert in dealing with jet lag! The key seems to be to skip a nights sleep somewhere along the way.

On my way back to England I caught the nightbus to Narita airport and only got 2 hours sleep. I then only managed to get in another hour on the flight due to the cracking movie choices, so by the time I reached Heathrow I was exhausted. I then preceeded to sleep all the way up to Stoke and all night long. I awoke the next morning feeling a little hazy, but okay. Although I had a lazy first couple of days with the fam, my sleeping patterns were normal (UK-stylee). Hurrah!

When I returned to Japan I also skipped a nights sleep due to the seriously talkative (read 'annoying') bloke who sat next to me on the plane. When I reached my little house I had a shower and went straight to bed. The last thing I remember hearing before my head hit the pillow was the 5 o'clock bells. I then awoke at 11 o'clock the next morning. 18 hours sleep! A new record! Since then it's been back to school and Japan sleeping patterns again. As easy as that!

The other thing to note about going home is the really horrible, homesick feeling when you are coming back. It's really weird coz I don't generally get homesick, but 2 weeks at home just wasn't enough, and I also really liked the fact that I could read and understand everything! I had forgotten what it was like not to have to struggle with a language barrier everyday! I also miss living with other people. I like my own space, don't get me wrong, but just having other people tootling around the house is nice.

So yeah, the thought of coming back to my empty house and then not seeing any of my friends for a week coz we would all be at work was not a welcoming thought. Especially when I discovered that I'd forgotten all my Japanese and was breaking out into a cold sweat just buying a train ticket! (Doh!) But, to my delight, B text me and said he would pick me up from the station. I can't tell you how much I appreciated this! Not only because my bags weighed an absolute tonne, but also because a big smile and a hug on my return was just the ticket!

The next day, rather then moping around feeling tired and lonely, I had lunch with B and Pete and then in the afternoon my neighbours came round to say hello and we all went for a walk in the sunshine to see the cows. This was just the BEST weekend I could have wished for on my return -relaxing, with lots of friendly faces. No more homesickness for me!

So, now I know how it feels to come back after a trip home I will definately make sure I'm around for anyone else doing the same. Pick-ups from the station and lunch the following day are all on the agenda. And anyone who reads this can hold me to that!

Actually, I'm gonna amend that - anyone in Fukushima who reads this can hold me to that!

'H' to the 'A' to the 'M' to the 'S, T, A!'

About 3 months ago, grade 5 got a pet hamster. It is the teeny, tiniest thing I've ever seen! Having said that, I hardly ever see it because it is nocturnal! Every time I teach grade 5 I ask if the hamster has got a name yet, but it never has. This doesn't surprise me as the rabbits also have no names and one of them is 8 years old!

Today, at cleaning time, I helped out in the 5th grade classroom and was greeted by the joyous news that the hamster had been named. Yippee! It's called 'Hamu ski'. Dear Lord! So, the word for 'ham' in Japanese is 'hamu' and 'ski' means 'I like' so they have come up with an oh-so-funny play on the word 'hamster'. Dunno whether it's the hamster that likes ham, or the kid that named it? But, there you go, the little mite's name is 'Hamuski Hamster'. It sounds like a dodgy name of a 90's rap act to me!

At 9.45 this morning I found myself getting a little peckish so I delved into my bag for a kitkat only to find that it was not there. Eeeeek! I must have eaten it! Oh no! I'd got over 2 hours until lunchtime! So I decided to go for a wander around the school to take my mind off the hunger. Just as I stepped out of the teachers' room I heard a 'Sha-ri sensei!'. I turned around to see the 6th grade students waving at me to go into the cooking room. It turns out that they were having a cooking party! All my prayers had been answered!

As it was their last ever cooking lesson, the 6th graders had been allowed to make party food and then eat it all together. Well, you should have seen it! I thought I was a bad cook! The first thing I was given was a cream sandwich. Yep, you heard correctly, a CREAM sandwich! They had literally just squirted cream onto pieces of bread and then shoved another piece on top. Interesting! Actually, it wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated, but then again, it's also not something I intend on repeating! I was also given tacoyakki (octopus dumplings), bread dipped in raspberry juice, and crusts fried in oil and sugar. I honestly have no idea how I managed to keep my face from screwing up as I ate it and told them how delicious it was! And you should have seen them wolfing it all down! Crazy! Well, that'll teach me to forget me kitkat!

Have you put on weight?

Yesterday lunchtime, amongst the other minging foodstuffs on my tray, were two giant balls of konnyaku. Bbbbllllleeerrk!

Now, in small amounts, or in miso soup, I can eat this, but in big balls? No thank you! So I left them. All the teachers laughed at me coz they can't believe that anyone wouldn't want to eat this stuff.

So, for you guys at home, I looked up the definition of konnyaku and I got 'root nodule bacteria'. Not quite, but it does definitely taste like it could be that. LOL! It's a jelly that is made from the starch from the bulb of some plant. It has absolutely no taste at all and is just a chewy lump.

The school secretary was telling me how lots of women eat it coz it's great diet food. This does not surprise me! It doesn't really have any nutritional value at all. But it does expand in your digestive system making you feel full, and it also cleans toxins out of your intestines. Yuck! Gross but true!

Anyway, this talk of diets prompted the school nurse to ask me if I had put on weight since coming to Japan. I told her that yes, I have, to which she gave the response 'I thought so'. WHAAAAAAT! However, she continued to say that this was a good thing and that if I lost any weight whilst in Japan, as the school nurse, it would be her problem, so please don't do it. I had to laugh.

Palm reading.

When I was at the driving test centre the other day, during one of the many 'waiting around' stages of the process, my Japanese translator friend asked if he could look at my hand. I showed him my left hand (as he was sitting on my left side) and he proceeded to read my palm.

He told me that I would live a long life and would have a good marriage with a good husband. He then took a closer look at the base of my little finger and said that I will be getting married when I am 35.

I then asked him what it meant if the lines on both my hands are completely different, which future am I to believe? But he said that your left hand tells of your situation now, and the right hand is your future.

WAIT A MINUTE...didn't he just tell me that I was getting married at 35 from my left hand?!! I mentioned this to him and he asked to look at my right hand. I showed him and after looking at it for approximately 5 seconds he said that yes, as he thought, I will be getting married at 35, to a good husband, and will live a long and happy life! Hahahahahahaha! I had to laugh. I then asked him if he could tell whether I was going to get my licence today and he said that yes, I would. And I did. Must be true then!

licence day

Today I went to get my Japanese driving licence. This mostly involved lots of waiting around.

I set-off at 8am, along with a translator, to the test centre. We arrived at 9.10am and went to sign-in but were told by an angry-looking woman that foreigners can only sign-in after 9.30am and so to come back later. Eeeeek! As if I wasn't nervous enough! This woman looked at me like she wanted to kill me!

At 9.30am we went back and signed-in. I gave all my documents to the woman and went and sat in the waiting area. She said at would be another hour.

After about 30 minutes she came out and gave me some forms to fill-in. These asked questions like; Did I attend a driving school in England? How many lessons did I have? How much did it cost? Was my test on a course or on the streets? How far was the test (in METERS)? etc. I did this, with the help of my translator friend and then handed the forms back to scary 'I hate foreigners' lady.

After another 15 minutes a smiley, old man came out and asked if he could interview me. My heart leapt! 1) it was not super scary evil woman, and 2) he was cute and smiley - I can work with this!

He asked me a couple of questions from the form I filled in, but in more detail. He was very impressed with how expensive my lessons had been in England and how many I had taken. He said it must be difficult to pass in the UK. Of course I agreed, wholeheartedly! The interview only lasted 5 minutes and thanks to my friend P, who had previously translated all my answers for me, I was able to answer them all by myself and not look like too much of a tit.

After the interview I waited for another 10 minutes and was then told to go downstairs and pay 4500 yen (about £30) and to fill in some more forms about my general health and stuff. One of the questions was whether I had fallen asleep at work. Hahahahaha! Almost!

More waiting. 20 minutes later I had an eye test and then had a photo taken on a swanky machine. The smiley bloke asked me if I wanted a few pictures and to choose the best one, but I said no, anything will do if I can have a licence!

More waiting. After another 30 minutes smiley came out and presented me with a beautiful Japanese licence with my mug-shot on it. WoO-HoO! ご苦労様でしたto me!

Sundays

I love Sundays. Sunday means a long lie-in, having a cappacino or two and reading a good book until lunchtime, watching some TV, having a powernap, and phoning my mum back home. Lazy and lovely.

However, yesterday I was rudely awakened at 7.30am by an announcement on the village tannoy system. God, that thing is LOUD! And they deemed the message so important that they played it twice, so it literally went on for a full 5 minutes! The message was informing everyone that at 9.00am at the community centre there was going to be a talk on "woruku rifu baransu". WHAT?!?!?!?! WORK/LIFE BALANCE! At 7.30 on a Sunday morning! I'll give them bloody work/life balance! Needless to say, I did not attend the meeting!

Big balls.

When we opened the local paper at school yesterday there was a big picture of the janitor from my other school in there(he is also head of the PTA at this school). It turns out that he has formed a band with the bloke that comes round selling stationary supplies. Half-way through reading the article (or rather, having one of the teachers read it to me) I burst out laughing. The name of their band is 'Big Ball Concert Dream' which they shorten to either 'BBCD' or 'Big Ball'. I was in hysterics! I then had to explain my amusement to the other teachers. Awkward! (the perfect word to describe this, thanks Gemma.)

I later saw the stationary bloke at school and the teachers couldn't wait to inform him of my interpretation of the band's name. OMIGOD! His face! Luckily, after the initial shock, he found the whole thing amusing (don't think the janitor will though!) He then told me why they (and by that read 'the janior') had chosen this name:

1. Ohtama (the village where I live) is built on the site where a precious stone was dug-up many years ago. When you actually got to the little museum here and see the jewel that everyone is so proud of, it's actually just a big marble! Anyway, literally, 'Oo' (or 'Oh' as they like to mis-spell it around here) means 'big', and 'tama' means 'bead' or 'ball'. And as the janitor is so proud of his English skills, he wanted an English band name and decided to translate the name of the village into English.

2. He then thought that he was being incredibly clever by changing the alphabet from 'ABCD' to 'BBCD' and so added 'Concert Dream'. However, I just found this even more amusing because now it sounds like a Chippendale-style strip show.

How I laughed! It has also kept all the teachers giggling for the last 2 days too.